PART Three OF FINAL CHAPTER
There was a knock on Mason’s door that afternoon. Addison was going to be at the gas station and then with that Bonnie girl and Tommy was doing something with his mother. Balliol had been wrangled for choir practice at Saint George’s, so it couldn’t be one of his friends. He could smell the cigarette smoke from his father’s studio so Sidney was in his zone which left Mason to get the door and while he was contemplating the unfairness of this, he opened the door, fixed a smile on his face and.…
Sullivan Reardon barged in.
“Fuck this!” Sullivan declared.
Mason’s eyes widened.
The taller boy said, “Listen! I’m sick of... bullshit. There’s just been too much going on this year for bullshit, and what this means is we need to have a talk now.”
Mason still stared wide eyed to the point of vapidness, and Sullivan continued:
“I don’t care that maybe I haven’t always been the greatest person. Okay, so I haven’t. The fact is here we are now and we’re always together and it’s just not going to work unless we become friends. I don’t care about your pretty speeches, Mason, and you can make them. You really can. All my life I’ve been hearing your pretty speeches. But this one is off. This time you’re off. And I’m sorry if you think that’s rude but that’s how I feel.”
Sullivan finished, breathing hard, white faced in the living room, looming a little over Mason.
Mason said nothing for a moment, and then he said, “Have you been thinking that up all day?”
Sully answered, truthfully: “Yes. And on my way here on my bike.”
Mason nodded, and then said, after a bit of thought, “I’m not sure what you want me to do. Just... decide to be your friend?”
Sully opened his mouth and closed it, then said, “I want you to give the possibility of it a chance, Mason.”
He was quiet for a moment, and then he said, “I keep on thinking about Andy—”
Mason held up a hand.
“Look, I liked Andy. Not as well as I could have. I didn’t really get to see him often in the last two years. I wished I’d seen him more. But I don’t like everyone throwing up Andy Rathko’s name at every event. I don’t know what this has to do with Andy Rathko.”
“Mason,” Sully’s voice was plaintive. “Don’t you see? Don’t be... Thick. It has everything to do with Andy.”
He explained, “You said it yourself. You said you didn’t know him like you wished you had. You liked him, but didn’t get to know him as well. And I feel the same way. People died that we never got to know. Our classmates, people like us, people we should have been friends with. But because we were too mean, or too… shy. I’ve always been shy. I’ve always had a hard time... reaching out. Because of that we won’t know them. But... we have a chance to know each other. Before it’s too late. Before...” Sully shook his head and took his hands through his hair. “Shit, Mason. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. But we’ve got today.”
Mason looked at him and then said, “You’re such a weird person. Really, you are.”
Coming from Mason, Sullivan wasn’t exactly sure what that meant.
“Why are you dressed like that?” Mason said. “Why do you have on one dress shirt over the other?”
“It’s my style.”
“It’s stupid. Don’t do it, I can’t take you seriously like that.”
“Mason, I’m trying to talk about something real, and all you can talk about is—”
“I told you,” he went on implacably. “I can’t take you seriously like that.”
Sully shrugged, and then he took off the first dress shirt he was using for a jacket.
“That’s better,” Mason said.
Mason held out a hand.
Sully looked at it.
“My name is Mason Darrow.”
“I know your name is—”
“My name is Mason Darrow,” Mason said as if Sully had said nothing.
“Ma—” and then Sully cocked his head.
“My name is Mason Darrow,” Mason said again.
Sully cleared his throat and caught Mason’s hand.
“My name is Sullivan Reardon.”
Mason shook his hand. “Pleased to meet you,” he said.
“Chris, sit down.”
“Hum?”
“Or you can stand,” Mark told him.
“I’ll sit,” Chris said.
“Unless you were on your way to the bathroom, something urgent.”
“Is this important, Dad?” Mark had been in his room thinking about this all day, and when Chris had come out of his room Mark called him.
“No. Well, yes. Well, actually it’s very important.”
“Did I do something?”
“No. It’s about me.”
“Are you sick?”
It was Chris’s biggest fear after his mother died that he’d be orphaned.
“No,” Mark said. “I’m not sick at all. I’m gay.”
“What?”
The words had just flown together so well that Mart had decided to say it, not hem and haw, which he supposed he’d been doing for over four months, anyway.
“I’m gay,” Mark said. “I suppose I should have told you. I have never actually said it before. I’m just getting it out of my mouth now. This is really hard for me. And...”
Mark’s voice trailed off. Chris was looking at him with revulsion, that disgust he’d been so afraid of. If Chris loved him then it would give him the confidence to do anything, but not this look, not this shaking of the head.
“Do you...?” Chris began. “Have a boyfriend or something?”
“Yes.”
And then Chris’s face turned... red. No purple, almost black. Almost... his eyes lit up.
“Who?” his voice was deep, hardly controlled.
Mark opened his mouth. He was, for the first time truly afraid of his son.
“Who?’ Chris barked.
Mark opened his mouth, but when he did, nothing came out.
Chris said, “Is it... Rick Howard?”
Not Dean Howard. Not Coach Howard. Rick.
And Mark, trembling, truly sick, found himself nodding.
Chris swallowed and his skin went a greenish color. His jaw was hard. He nodded, and then walked out of his father’s bedroom into his own. He came out a few seconds later and Mark heard him going down the stairs. It was only when Chris must have been in the kitchen that Mark remembered he had legs and went down after him. Chris was already in the driveway. In his car when Mark found him.
“Where are you going?”
Chris turned the key in the ignition. He looked at his father steadily and said, “To kill your boyfriend.”
And then backed out of the driveway and was down the street.
When Mark reached Rick’s house the door was open and Chris’s car was parked on the lawn, in a flower bed. Climbing out of the car Mark could hear the sounds of violence and inside Chris was smashing everything he could with a baseball bat while Rick sat in a chair, his hands clutching the edges, not daring to do anything.”
“Is this precious to you?” Chris shouted as Mark came in and Rick said nothing and then—smash—there went the big screen TV.
“What about this?”
And SMASH, there went the sound system. When Chris was applying vigorous attention to the destruction of a stereo Mark came up behind him the way only a very loving father could and caught Chris around his middle.
“Stop,” he whispered.
“Stop,” Mark said again. “I know you’re mad.”
“I’m not mad at you,” Chris tried to beat the stereo some more but Mark had his arms. Mark was still strong. “It’s him.”
Mark gently took the bat from Chris, Chris fought, but not very hard.
“It’s him.”
“He didn’t turn me this way—” Mark began.
Chris pointed at Rick and said, “He told me... He told me it was wrong. You told me,” he growled at Rick. “You said it was a sin and... You, I always trusted you and you told me how it was wrong.”
“I was afraid,” Rick said. “I thought... Maybe you thought.”
“And you told him it was wrong?” Mark’s voice was neutral, but his raised eyebrow was not.
“I...” Rick began. Then, “Yes.”
“You ass!” Chris breathed. “You...”
He turned to his father.
“Dad,” Chris said. “I was so sure it was wrong... I was wrong. That’s how I lost Sully.”
“Sully?” began Mark. He looked at his son. They looked at each other.
“My God,” Mark said. “Sully was—?”
“Yes,” Chris sobbed collapsing on his ass in the middle of the ruined room.
Mark stood there dazed while Chris’s sobbing grew louder and louder.
He looked at Rick whose mouth was open in shock, his face sad and sorry.
“I didn’t know,” he said gently, shaking his head. “I didn’t know.”
They came down the main hall of Saint Vitus and when they stopped at the senior lounge only one person was sitting there: Jeff Benet. Outside on the ledge of the steps overlooking Bancroft Street was Brad Laterno, a junior.
Jeff looked up at them and said, “Well, this belongs to you guys now.”
Mason, Balliol, and Sully. They looked at each other and then Balliol said, shifting his bag on his shoulder, “Against my will, I’m sort of touched.”
They sat down and Balliol said, “I didn’t think I’d care. But now, to tell you the truth, I’m a little worried about going to
graduation tonight. Standing on the steps and all that.”
“Me too,” Mason said, and waved as Addison and Seth came near, followed by Jeremy Tepper who kept touching the pillars in the main lobby and then fell on the floor as he entered the glass encased lounge and said, “Finally, after four years. Mine!”
“This is why I try not to talk to him,” Mason observed as the boy got up off the floor.
“Graduation tonight? You too?” Balliol said.
“Oh,” Mason remembered what he’d been saying. “Well, I’ll be at graduation too.”
“What?”
“Yes,” Mason went on wearily. “Chris Powers tracked me down and wants me to be his junior.”
“What?” Balliol snapped before Sully could say anything.
“I understand we all may not be friendly with Powers,” Seth said, “but it’s hardly as terrible as all that, Lincoln.”
“But why are you doing it, Mason?” Balliol demanded in a shocked voice.
“Because he asked me to!
“What was I supposed to say? You don’t get on with my best friend’s best friend, so no, even though you’re my godbrother—”
Mason was put out with Balliol’s endless hatred of Chris Powers.
Balliol said nothing. Sully looked at him and then said, “That’s not it, Mason.”
Mason looked at Sully.
Sully motioned to him, and then they both went out onto the school steps. Brad was gone now, so there was no one but them and Balliol watched them move about the steps. Sully explaining everything to Mason, Mason’s famous face impervious until the very end where shock crossed it. This must be the part where Sully told Mason about Chris punching him and throwing him out. The mere fact of Sully’s gayness wouldn’t have put that shocked look on someone like Mason.
And then they were all paying attention. They all saw Mason, say, “I’m sorry.” Sully shook his head. Tommy said, “What’s going on? What happened?”
But no one said anything.
A few moments later Mason came into the school looking shocked. Sully was behind him, quiet and serious.
“Well, what am I supposed to do now?” Mason said, slightly breathless.
Sully shrugged.
“I would have told him no, Sully. Despite everything I’ve ever said... and not being the easiest person, I would have told him no if I’d known.” Mason was quiet for a very long time.
“I don’t think I want to do it now.”
“You’ve got to,” Sully told him. “You promised.”
Tommy looked around. Balliol, Sully and now Mason knew something. Tommy opened his mouth for just a moment, but decided it was best not to ask.
Sidney had come home late that afternoon and he was rushing between his bathroom, Mason’s bathroom and the kitchen, catching up on all the gossip of the world. Balliol, who had dressed for graduation and come over to the house an hour ago was in the kitchen making ham sandwiches for them to eat on the run.
“So Sully came out to you?” Sidney said.
“Yes,” Mason said. “And that’s when we found out that he was with Chris Powers.”
Mason opened the cupboard, took out a glass and began to run the water as he went to the refrigerator for the ice cubes.
“But you already knew this?” Balliol cocked his head saying what Mason had wanted to say.
“I knew most of this,” Sidney said.
“How?” both boys said.
“Because Mark told me.”
Balliol and Mason looked at each other as Mason filled the water glass and then they looked back at Sidney.
“Mark just found out a few days ago because Chris went berserk and smashed up Rick Howard’s house. Did damage in the thousands of dollars. But he stopped before he could get to the car.”
“Are you serious?” Mason said while Balliol just looked amazed.
“Very much so.”
“Why?”
“Because,” Sidney told Balliol, “it was Rick who had told Chris that he was essentially going to hell and dragging Sully with him. That was the deal. See, from what Mark says, Chris actually cares for your friend a great deal. Just... ” Sidney shrugged and picked up a ham sandwich.
“And so he smashed up Rick Howard’s house?” Mason said. “I mean, there’s gotta be more than that Dad,” Mason shrugged. “Does it get crazier?”
Something passed over Sidney’s face that told Mason what Balliol said out loud.
“It does get crazier.”
“It does,” Sidney confessed. “And since it will all be out anyway... I’ll tell you. See, Chris went berserk the day that his father told him... Mark told Chris, that he was gay.”
“Wait,” Mason was confused. “Mark found out Chris was gay and told him—”
“No,” Sidney waved that off. “Mark is gay.”
“What?” both boys said at once, and then Balliol said, “Father and son.”
“Maybe it’s in the water,” Mason shrugged.
Sidney laughed, and then looked at the water glass and said, “Mason...”
Mason looked at it too for a moment. Then, weighing eminent homosexuality against very present thirst, he downed it and shrugged.
“So,” Balliol said as Mason was drinking his water, “is Mark Powers dating anyone?”
“Oh,” Sidney realized. “I thought I’d told you.
“Rick Howard.”
Mason choked on the water and nearly dropped the glass on the floor.
“Well, it’s too late Mason,” Sidney said clapping his son on the back and putting the glass back on the counter. “You already drank it. The damage is done. We’ll look for a nice boy tonight at graduation and I’ll deal with never being a grandfather. I don’t like little kids that well, anyway.
“Come on boys, time to go. Balliol, get the lights.”
NEXT TIME: THE CONCLUSION OF WHITE LIFE