“Was Addison really that great?”
“To them he was,” Becky told Seth.
“Well, maybe they should go date him.,”
Becky grinned and leaned into him. “You know what? I’ve suggested it. How was the store today?”
“Busy as hell. I’m glad I’m only a seasonal worker. You know what Jung Mei told me?”
“Huh?”
“She said Dad was right. That I should go to school.”
“Well, of course your dad’s right. I mean, between working at a department store and being in school... It’s kind of a no brainer which is the one you want to do.”
“It’s not a no brainer for me,” Seth said sullenly as they came to a red light. “I didn’t like high school at all. I was really no good at it.
“But college isn’t high school. It’s college.”
Says you and says people on TV. But I’ve never been to school, and I have a hard time imagining it’s going to be different.”
“But you know something, Seth? You know exactly what working at the hardware store and working at the department store is. You have no idea, just like you said, what school is.”
In his apartment, Seth said again, “You really think I should go to school?”
“I think you should do what you want to,” Becky said taking the dry cleaning bag that held her dress for Midnight Mass.
“That’s a cop out.”
“Well, yes. It is,” she said.
“I sort of want a real answer.”
“My real answer,” Becky told him. “Is go to school.”
Becky straightened her gown out, but she didn’t get into it right away. It was about nine o’ clock when Seth got off of work and nearly ten when he got back to his apartment. They went upstairs to see Joel and Shelley. The house smelled like cookies and marshmallow Rice Krispie treats. Shelley was awake watching a movie, and Joel was asleep in the bedroom.
“He says he’s getting ready for tonight.”
“After we go to Mass we always stay up all night opening presents and everything. It’s like four in the morning before we go to sleep.”
“Really?” Shelley and Becky said at the same time.
Seth nodded, pleased. The large Christmas tree in the corner of the living room cast a red and gold light over the place and Shelley said, “You and Joel. Just by yourselves used to celebrate like this ?”
“Yeah,” Seth said. “Imagine what it’s going to be like with the two of you this year!
“Of course, we weren’t really by ourselves, you know? We go to church with the Powers and with Mason and Sidney. It’s the one time of the year they go to a Catholic Church, and then we always have Christmas dinner at the Darrows and Dr. Powers and Chris come over... It’s later in the day and no one gets dressed up. After it’s over everyone just sits around. Real low key. Yawning, passing out. It’s really great.”
Shelley opened her mouth, but then Becky said, “What’s that... singing?”
Seth smiled, “Ah... Dad.”
And he began to sing with him.
“There won’t be any room tonight
But there will be
a weeping child very soon,
if he doesn’t hurry up
and obey his mother!”
“What’s that from? Shelley began, but then Becky said, “Amahl and the Night Visitors.”
“How did you know that?” Seth said as Joel stepped in wearing a tee shirt and track pants, stretching as he yawned.
“I listen to music too,” Becky said with a shrug.
“Becky!” Joel kissed Shelley and then his son’s girlfriend before kissing his son and asking, “How was work?”
“You know what?” Becky said. “That Jung Mei woman told Seth that he’d better go to school if he didn’t want to end up like her in a stock room for the rest of his life.”
Seth made an exasperated face at her.
Joel smiled brightly and said, “I like this woman!”
“Dad...” Seth began. Then said, “Lots of people do fine without college. Fiddy Cent. R. Kelly. Ah.... Ludikris.”
Becky looked at him and said, “Are you Black?”
“No.”
“Can you rap?”
“No,” Seth said sullenly.
“Then maybe you should go to school.”
They were sitting around in Sully’s room when Chris said, “I don’t see why you just don’t stay here and go to Midnight Mass with us.”
“Because I always go to Midnight Mass at Saint George’s with Balliol.”
Chris shrugged. “I know. It’s just... I’m kind of selfish. I was thinking,” Chris’s hand moved up to Sully’s collar.
“You know what?” Sully said, moving away. “It’s about eleven o’clock and you promised to drop me off at the Balliol’s.”
“I was hoping we had time to—”
“I’m pretty sure we don’t,” Sully said. “And if you keep talking, I’m going to try to make myself think we do, and that’s just bad news.”
Chris’s hand went to Sully’s knee and he whispered: “You know Mass always gets started late.”
“Stop now,” Sully got up, grinning. “I can’t greet the baby Jesus knowing I just got it on with my boyfriend less than an hour ago. We have to get to the Balliol’s now.”
“If Balliol would just become a Catholic,” Chris said, stretching as he stood up and looked around the room for his coat. “It would make everything so much easier.”
“What time does Mass usually let out at Saint Patrick’s?”
Around one thirty in the morning,” Chris said. “ And then me and Dad will be back a little before two.”
“I was thinking about breaking tradition. Usually I stay at the Balliol’s, but I think Swain and Bailey are going over to Mason’s house anyway after church. Swain can hardly drive, but she’s going to. I can’t believe Mrs. Balliol let her. I’ll just have them drop me off there. How’s that?”
“We can spend Christmas night together! Or Christmas morning. Or whatever you call it. I’m not sure. You know what? We always open one present.”
“Is Mr.— Is Rick going to be here too?”
“I’m not sure.”
“That’ll be weird. The dean of the school and me and.… That’ll just be weird,” Sully said. “I’ll get past it, but it’ll be weird.”
He sighed and looked out the window.
Outside, Sully said, “It’s not much snow. Just sort of... dusting. “
Chris opened Sully’s door and Sully slid into the moderate warmth of the car. It still smelled new. Chris crawled in the other side.
“I don’t know,” Sully said, when the engine revved up. “Every Christmas I feel so hopeful. I really feel like something is starting up. For that one night. Or when I hear the carols I feel like something important is happening. Like it really is a night of miracles. And all Christmas Day I feel like that, Chris.
“But the day after Christmas I never feel that way. I’m always sort of let down. I sort of wish for a day after Christmas that would sort of live up to the promise of the day before.”
Chris didn’t look at him. In fact he stopped at the red light and watched, as no cars came from anywhere, the mites of white snow drifting out of the black sky to the frosted asphalt.
“I know what you mean,” he said, at last. “Every Christmas Eve they bring that baby Jesus into the church and the little kids are singing silent night. You see all the candles. You hear that story… about the angels and the shepherds and peace on earth... And you believe. There’s this little light in your heart.”
The light turned green and Chris’s foot touched the gas pedal.
“And then on the twenty-sixth the Christmas tree looks drab and the snow is all gray and…. Its same old same old.”
“But you know what?” Sully said. “No matter what I say about that, no matter what I know, no matter how I tell myself to stop being gullible... Every time I step into Saint George’s and its cold outside and the choir is singing inside... I believe all over again. I hope. I think.... Maybe this year. Maybe this year... Everything will happen. And the world will get better.”